Sardarji Jokes - 0000027

Banta started to explain his Adventure. He had gone to a remote village on some work and due to his high level of intelligence, couldn't finish the work on time. He had missed the last bus from that place. He couldn't find any Hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the owner whether he can stay there for the night.

The Owner replied "I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can't allow you to stay."

He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night.

The Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up daughters.Sorry, I can't allow you to stay."

He went towards the next house and without taking any risks,asked, "Do you have grown up daughters?"

The Owner asked,"WHY?????????"

Banta replied, "I wanted to stay here for a night ....."

Sardarji Jokes - 0000026

Sardarji went to US to live with his brother. Sardarji’s Brother owns an apple shop in US. One day he asked his brother to stay at the shop because he had to go somewhere.

He asked his brother if somebody comes to shop and ask for the apple’s price, tell them $2 a pound. If somebody questions whether these apples are sweet
or sour, tell them some are sweet and some are not. If some body says I do not want to buy, tell them somebody else will buy.

Now the sardarji was ready to sell the apples.

A lady comes and asks sardarji, Do you know what time it is ? Sardarji replied $2 a pound.

Lady said; all sardarji’s are idiot and fools. Sardarji replied, some are, some are not.

Lady got frustrated and said, I will take you to police station. Sardarji replied, if you will not take me some body else will take.

Sardarji Jokes - 0000025

Sardaarji one day went to see an 'A' certified movie.

In the movie there was a scene in which the beautiful heroine going to take a bath in a river. There was a railway track nearby, parallel to the river.

As the heroine starts removing her clothes, a train comes along the track and blocks the view of the heroine. When the train finally passes over the track, next shot shown is the heroine standing on the river bank fully dressed, having finished her bath.

Sardaarji was disappointed. He started going for the movie everyday, every show and always came out a dejected man.

Sardaar's friend who noticed this routine asked him what the matter was. Sardaar explained everything, the beautiful heroine going to take a bath and the damned train coming along, blocking the view.

His friend again asked "then what the hell you are going for the movie again and again?"

Sardaar replied "Arrey yaar, Indian Railway ki gaadi hai naa?? Ek din jaroor late aayegi aur mujhe woh scene dekhne ko milega......is ummid me jaa rahaa hoon yaar...."

Sardarji Jokes - 0000024

Four guys, from Harvard, Yale, MIT and SANTA SINGH from Punjab University were to be interviewed for a prestigious job. One common question was asked to all 4 of them.

INTERVIEWER: WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD?

1. YALE guy: Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light.

2. HARVARD Guy: It's the Thought; b'cos thought is so fast it comes instantly in your mind.

3. MIT guy: Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked

4. SANTA SINGH: Its Loose motion

INTERVIEWER: (Shocked to hear Santa's reply, asked) "WHY"?

SANTA SINGH: Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!

Sardarji Jokes - 0000023

There was a Sardar and his name was

' SANTA SINGH NANGA '.

Everybody used to laugh at him, tease him for having such a name.

Once in a friend's Party, the host introduced SANTA SINGH to others saying

"Meet my old friend SANTA SINGH NANGA ", and the whole party burst into laughter..

Santa could not take it any more and decided to legally change his name. He went to the court and appealed to the judge:

Sardar: "Judge saab, mera naa sunke sare hass de ne. Tussi sunoge ta tussi vi hassoge. Mainu mera naa badalna hai"

Judge: "O nahi-nahi ! Koi gal nahi.. Tussi apna naa dasso..(bolo)"

Sardar: "Mera naa hai "SANTA SINGH NANGA"

Judge saab also starts laughing..

Judge : " Koi gal nahi.Koi gal nahi. Tussi yeh batawo Tuhanu keda nava naa chahida hai ?"

Sardar (After thinking for a while): "Banta Singh Nanga "

Sardarji Jokes - 0000022

One Sardar was enjoying sun on a beach in UK. A lady came and asked him, “Are you relaxing?”

Sardar answered, “No I am Banta Singh.”

Another guy came and asked the same question. Sardar answered “No no me! Banta Singh.” Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the beach.

He went and asked him, “Are you relaxing?” The other Sardar was much educated and answered “Yes I am relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on his face and said, “Idiot, sab tere ko wahahn dhoond rahe hai aur tu yahaan aaram kar raha hai.”

Sardarji Jokes - 0000021

Once in the Indo Pakistan war, Pakistan was fighting fiercely and capturing everything in sight. A sikh camp called Gurudwara hideout was crucial to defend from the pakistanis as it contained all the defence secrets.

The pakistani forces surrounded the base and the sikhs had thought that they had lost the battle but, suddenly out of the bushes jumps Cptn. Hari Singh wearing a Maachar dani ! (mosquito net). He Pulls out his AK-47 rifle and fires like mad. The pakistanis run off quickly. The next day Hari Singh gets a medal.

His freinds ask him "Yaar thu maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha?" Hari Singh replies "Maachar daani itni patli hote hain ki agar maachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan se ghussenghi ?

In the following war Hari Singh retires and his son Gyani Singh (No assumptions please !) joins the army. Pakistanis are again surrounding the Gurudwara hideout, the sikhs again think they've lost the war but out of the bushes erupts Gyani Singh wearning nothing he tries to do shoo away the pakistanis like his father did but instead gets shot.

In the hospital his friends tell him "Aare yaar, therre bap mein tho itni akal thi ki vo maachar daani pehin key gaya tha, aur tu nanga chala gaya" Gyani Singh replies "Arrey yaar main tho odomos laga key gaya tha" !

Sardarji Jokes - 0000020

Banta Singh, coming back from a late night movie was attacked by a thief. There was a terrific fight and Banta gave a good account for himself. But finally the thief tied him down and went through his pockets. He found only 25 Paisa.

The exasperated robber exclaimed "What the hell. Why were you fighting for only 25 Paisa" Banta replied "Oh. You were only after this 25 paise is it ? I thought you were after the Rs.1,000 I have hidden in my left shoe".

Sardarji Jokes - 0000019

Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the Sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.

When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife " What's the matter ?" Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"

Sardarji Jokes - 0000018

Bill and Sardarji walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Sardarji goes up to order and the cashier greets him with "Hello Sardarji! How are you? Hey everybody! Sardarji's here!" Everybody in the restaurant comes up and says hello to Sardarji. After everyone has greeted him, Bill and Sardarji sit down and begin to eat.

"Sardarji, you're pretty popular!" says Bill. "I'm the most popular man in the world," says Sardarji.

"Now Sardarji," says Bill, your pretty popular but you're not the most popular man in the world."

"Oh yeah," Sardarji replies "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I'm friends with anybody you can name!"

"That so?" answers Bill, "How about the President of the United States?"

"Let's go!" says Sardarji.

The two fly to Washington and knock on the front door of the White House. The president answers, "Sardarji! How are you doing? I haven't seen you in ages!" The three go play a round of golf and then leave.

"That was luck!" says Bill, "Two thousand says your not friends with the Queen of England!"

"Let's go!" says Sardarji.

The two fly to Buckingham Palace and, sure enough, are greeted by the Queen. ''Hello Sardarji my boy! What have you been up to these days?" They enter the palace and have some tea and leave.

Frustrated, Bill says, "Double or nothing, you don't know the Pope!"

"Benny!" says Sardarji, "Let's go!"

When they get to the Vatican, Sardarji instructs Bill to wait outside and Sardarji will come out on the balcony with his arm around the Pope. After a while, a crowd gathers to hear the Pope speak. And as told by Sardarji, when the Pope came out, Sardarji's arm was wrapped around him. Sardarji looks down from the balcony and see's Bill passed out on the ground. He rushes down and wakes him up.

"Bill! Bill! Wake up!" Bill opens his eyes and says,

"Sardarji. You're the most popular man in the world."

"I told you that, Bill," says Sardarji, "but you didn't faint when I knew the President! You didn't faint when I knew the Queen!"

"Well I was shocked that you knew the Pope," says Bill. "But I just couldn't take it when the guy next to me tapped me on the shoulder and said "Who's that up there with Sardarji?"

Sardarji Jokes - 0000016

Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station.

He asks one man, “When will Rajdhani Express go from here”?

Man Replies, 12.30.

“When will Punjab Express go from here”?

Man Replies, 10.30.

“When will Deccan Queen go from here”?

Man Replies, 12.30.

Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.

Sardar replies, “NO. I only want to cross the tracks